Whilst the coronavirus pandemic has put many things on hold, in the realm of relationships, many may have found that their relationships, new or existing, have accelerated. This has been due to a number of reasons, not in the least lockdown procedures presenting unadulterated amounts of time for couples to connect and grow, meaning that couples may have found themselves reaching ‘milestones’ a lot quicker. Although some relationships may have sadly failed, other couples have found that they have been communicating better and may even have deciding to move in together relatively ‘quickly’ in order to see out the pandemic. Wherever your relationship is, if moving in together is right for you, then go for it. And if that includes moving in together for the first time, here are some tips and techniques to ensure a steady amalgamation of your two worlds.
Communicate – on everything!
Moving in together is a big and scary step, and it will most likely conjure up both anxiety and excitement. You both probably have different visions for how you want your house to be, so there will need to be compromises on both sides. Begin by communicating so you can get a better idea for both your visions, there is likely a lot of middle ground or cross over that you can find, which will make your home a perfect reflection of you both and suiting you both. If not, there is plenty of room for compromise, being sure to adjust to both of your needs. Does one of you need office space? Would one of you prefer an area of the garden? Where is compromise most important to fit to both of your lifestyles? Have these conversations early on, and you won’t regret it. Be sure to compromise as there will be a lot of desires and needs on both sides to accommodate and will create a happier home.
We all have ideas of how we would like our home to function or look, and your partner and your styles may unfortunately clash but by talking through them, you may be able to better figure out how to incorporate both styles into your home – after all, your home is a reflection of you both. If you cannot figure out how to seamlessly merge both styles into each room, consider dedicating a room to each person’s vision. Failing this, look to a new style completely, using handy platforms such as Pinterest, or home decorating magazines and shows to come to a common style and theme. It may take some time, but you are bound to find a décor style that suits you both.
Money and Chores
Be sure to also sensibly discuss bills and budgeting, deciding on how best to split the bills and various outgoings. By agreeing on financial outgoings before you decide to move in, will hopefully offset any awkward conversations whilst you are trying to enjoy your new home. Figure out how best to budget in for groceries, bills and any unforeseen circumstances. Will you split everything down the middle? Or will one person cover one area, and the other another?
It is a good idea to communicate about household chores as well. Perhaps even setting up a rota or even split of the tasks, by splitting these tasks in a way that is fair to you both, you may also avoid any nasty arguments. Overall, communication is key in all areas of moving in together.
When you move in with anyone, there is bound to be some paraphernalia crossover. Whether this is duplicates of pots and pans or one sofa too many, there is bound to be a lot that you don’t need. There is also bound to be lots of items in the other person’s inventory that you simply don’t like. Whilst again, It is important to be respectful of the other person’s things and compromise on what you keep, (don’t go insulting their great grandmother’s air loom), look at what you need for the communal space and see if you can declutter. It is worth taking some time together, to figure out what you will keep, donate, sell or simply put in storage. In some ways this can be done practically, one of you may have an old TV that has seen better days, whilst the other’s television is in full working capacity. Or some of your furniture may not fit, whereas your partner’s does.
Speaking to Huffington Post, London-based interior designer Lisa Mettis from Born and Bred Studio “A couple of weeks before the big move spend a weekend helping each other do a big cleanse. Create a ‘keep, charity or sell’ pile. Having a clear out can be very cleansing. There is little point carrying the emotional and physical baggage of the unwanted or unloved to a new collective space.”